Dear Overthinkers and Perfectionists

Yesterday I read a few chapters of a book that I found in my local library called 'Love Birds: How to live with the one you love By Trevor Silvester'. In this book the author had categorised people into different types of birds, which were metaphors for different personality types. I didn't take the personality test at the beginning of the book, I just skipped straight to the chapter that I could relate to and that was the owl, the thinker. The key thing I remember, that stood out to me in this chapter was the personality description that came along with it. I was drawn to this chapter as a way of purely understanding myself, rather than seeking relationship advice. This description basically stated that the thinker is someone who lives inside their mind they are completely carried away inside their own thoughts they are constantly communicating with themselves. Then it went onto say that what goes on in this persons mind, affects their life very greatly. This got me thinking about how we are a product of our thoughts and about the extent to which they shape our lives. The part that also stood out to me within this chapter is the fact that it said this voice in the individuals mind can either be their best friend or their worst nightmare. So the most important thing for the thinker is to always focus their mind on what they want rather than what they don’t want, so that they do not sabotage themselves because of negative thinking.

I have been into personal development since I was fifteen, so this concept of positive thinking and the law of attraction is not new to me. However it was the way that this book was written and the time I read it, that caused this massage to impact me more. This chapter was directly addressing the thinker, addressing me, the person whose mind usually overflows with so many wants and intensions, that I tend to think my way out of them before I begin. If you guys only knew how many ideas and how many drafts I have had for this blog, in comparison to the amount that I’ve actually posted. Some of you would say why didn't you post all of your finished drafts ? The answer is that I could not mentally bring myself to post a lot of them. There were all these reasons in my head like; they needed to be perfect, they weren't up to scratch or I didn’t like the idea anymore. All of these blocks and barriers that I have created in my mind have done nothing but hold me back. This what I need to overcome. I know that there are many over thinkers and perfectionists out there, just like me. If you are one of those people, I just want to say to you that I get it. But to progress you and I need focus on what we want and just try our best without thinking too much about it.

Nothing in the world is perfect, so don't let the fear of not being perfect, prevent you from putting your ideas out into the world.  

Thank you for reading my post and feel free to check out my other posts if you haven't all ready.

If you would like to contact me for free advice, to ask questions, comment on my blog or recommend a topic for me to explore in my next post feel free to leave me an email. at:

helloworldeb@yahoo.com

or just leave a comment down bellow

you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter

I look forward to hearing from you :)

If You Want To Be Happy Here Are 4 Things You Should Stop Doing in 2017.

Happy New Year :) If you have read any of my previous posts then you will probably realise that I haven’t posted for almost a year. I am happy with the decision I made to take time to myself, to accumulate more wisdom triggered by my experiences to share with you. I feel like my last post was great. It had a very helpful message which left me with nothing more to say for a while. I had to undergo my own journey of personal growth. I feel like I am ready to share more wisdom with you here on Helloworld:). Authentic wisdom, ideas that I am truly thinking and exploring in my day to day life as I write.

Today’s post will be about how you can truly be happier. If you have read it, I have a previous post called ‘How to be happier right now in 13 simple steps’. That was a step by step guide, 13 tips on things you could do in the moment. This post is going to focus more on tips to help you achieve happiness through your mind set. Remember when I said Step 12 was to ‘Overcome moods and challenges’. Then I expanded saying ‘Every time you continue to be happy, despite a misfortune you become an overall happier person. The way to do this is, to believe you can. You are in control of yourself and you can think outside of negative circumstances, situations and people.’ For this post I am going to expand on this point because this point is key. I have expanded in listing 4 things you should stop doing in order to be happy this year : 

1) Don't let anything ruin your life. In life challenges are unavoidable, they are a frequent occurrence. To guarantee your happiness you need to commit to it. You need to say to yourself, 'even if the worst happens I will find a way to pick myself up and be happy again'. Your happiness needs to be unconditional, reliant on nobody, not a far off destination that you hope to reach in the future. If you refuse to let any negative circumstance ruin your happiness for good, then nothing can keep you down. You may get down at times that is normal, but you should never stay down.

2) Don’t worry if what used to make you happy no longer makes you happy. In life we have evolving needs and wants it normal, so don’t freak out if you find yourself no longer satisfied by things that previously satisfied you. This could just be a sign that you need to make a change and try something new, for example take on new hobby or a new venture. Be adaptable to change, because that is to be well suited to a life where things are constantly changing. Remember the priceless advice, if you don’t like something change it, and if you can’t change it, then change your attitude towards it. The way you think about life is key so, look on the Brightside and learn to dance in the rain.


3) Don’t constantly ask yourself if you are happy. When you know something is true you don’t question it. Questions create doubt and questioning your own happiness can begin to cause you the unnecessary confusion that comes with over analysing your life. This is especially important when you are going through a hard time. For example a break up. This is when you need to not question your happiness because obviously you are emotional as you are in a transitioning period of your life. You are going through a temporary feeling of loss and uncertainty so waking up every morning thinking am I happy? Then proceeding to ask why does my life suck? Is not going to help you, my friend. It is better to just move towards feeling better every single day.   

4) Don’t assume that other people are happier than you because you honestly don’t know. I can relate this to many examples, but let me just take one. Single people assuming that people in relationships are happier than them. This is a common occurrence despite this evidently not being true, I mean look at the divorce rate! Yes for many the beginning of a relationship may be full of fun, excitement and happiness. But for that to continue for a lifetime? Well that really depends on the person. If you are single and unhappy, then being in a relationship will not make you happy in the long run, because nothing can make you happy. Happiness is an inside job.  

The only thing that can give you lasting happiness is choosing to be happy in the long term. Yes. This means waking up every morning and deciding to be happy. Going to bed every night still having decided to be happy. Deciding to have sweet dreams. Deciding to wake up and smile that you have received the gift of life, for yet another day. If you are not currently happy then choosing happiness, something you need to work on. Investing in your happiness is the most worthwhile investment you will ever make. Happiness is achievable for all and it all starts with the willingness to shift your mind set to create a happier life.

  

Thank you for reading my post and feel free to check out my other posts if you haven't all ready.

If you would like to contact me for free advice, to ask questions, comment on my blog or recommend a topic for me to explore in my next post feel free to leave me an email. at:

helloworldeb@yahoo.com

or just leave a comment down bellow

you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter

I look forward to hearing from you :)

The Need To Feel Special

One of the reasons why I started this blog was to make myself feel special. So that whoever read it, would hear what I had to say and then conclude that the best thing to do, would be to worship my awesomeness. Lol.

I'm not some sort of life expert. I just live, learn, think and research a lot on personal development. I am a 19 year old Sociology student, who has been through things, which forced me to stop and say hey. How can I help myself to have an amazing life? As well as a mind silent enough to actually enjoy it and a heart sensitive enough to actually feel it. I have learned things and I can only tell you what I know.

I know the more we learn, the more questions there are. Always. I also know that, there are people who will want to hear what I have to say.

There has been a lot of things that I have learned this year:
1) No matter what I do, I'm pretty important, since I am (literally) the number one main person in my life.

2)Not everyone has to love you, for you to be lovable. There are so many people in the world and people are soo different. Popularity isn't love, it's just being widely noticed.

3) I can keep things to myself, people don't need to know my business and I don't need to entertain everyone.

4) Everyone has the right to some privacy and I don't have to share anything that I don't want to about myself.




This realisation that I can still feel happy and not be the centre of attention, is still relatively new to me. Therefore I have been hesitant about what I post on the Internet. I guess I do fear violation and humiliation. This is why I haven't posted recently. I tend to be too much of a perfectionist when it comes to writing. So in the end I am left with Dozens of drafts and no posts. I know most of my fears probably won't even come into existence. But we all face fear, it’s normal. Sometimes fear shows us that what we are doing is worth doing. Some risks are worth taking. I try my best to control my fears in order to achieve things that are important to me. We all benefit from getting into the habit of facing our fears.



I watched 'Fault in our stars' recently. I loved it. The film made me realise that, I don't need to do something crazy. For example fly to the moon, without a space suit, in front of a crowd of cheering people. (Although that would be cool, crazy, funny and memorable at the same time.) I could live a simple quiet life (if I wanted to). That wouldn’t make me less of a person.

As a human being I'm not more or less than anyone else. As long as I know in my heart that I've done what felt important to me and met some great people along the way. Then I've done enough and I am enough. Of course I want to achieve, but that doesn't mean my self-worth should depend on it. After all life is a journey, I can't just magically appear at every destination.

There’s always people out there who can relate to some parts of you and your situation. Therefore you are truly never alone. Sometimes you just need to find these people and hear their stories. I found this cool website/ app where you can do, just that. ‘MeToo -The Experience Project’ (which I will link below this post). You can write about your experiences and opinions or just comment on other peoples. You can simply just be yourself. You will be surprised how many people feel exactly the way that you do.

Voluntary work can be fun. I have been Volunteering to gain work experience this summer and I like it. I'm having fun, helping out and meeting new people. You should try it .

Don't waste time on people who don't really like you. For real, you may need to avoid a few people. But your peace of mind is worth more than pleasing them.

Either everyone's special or no one is. So is the glass half full of half empty? I'm going to go with everyone is. Just look at human potential, look at what we can do, with our willpower. We are creators, we can practically make magic. This means we are magical, even the people who haven't noticed it yet.

So believe or at least keep your mind opened :)

Links: -

MeToo -The experience project
Site - http://www.experienceproject.com/
App - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kanjoya.experienceproject&hl=en

Volunteering in the UK -

https://do-it.org/

 

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