Dear Overthinkers and Perfectionists

Yesterday I read a few chapters of a book that I found in my local library called 'Love Birds: How to live with the one you love By Trevor Silvester'. In this book the author had categorised people into different types of birds, which were metaphors for different personality types. I didn't take the personality test at the beginning of the book, I just skipped straight to the chapter that I could relate to and that was the owl, the thinker. The key thing I remember, that stood out to me in this chapter was the personality description that came along with it. I was drawn to this chapter as a way of purely understanding myself, rather than seeking relationship advice. This description basically stated that the thinker is someone who lives inside their mind they are completely carried away inside their own thoughts they are constantly communicating with themselves. Then it went onto say that what goes on in this persons mind, affects their life very greatly. This got me thinking about how we are a product of our thoughts and about the extent to which they shape our lives. The part that also stood out to me within this chapter is the fact that it said this voice in the individuals mind can either be their best friend or their worst nightmare. So the most important thing for the thinker is to always focus their mind on what they want rather than what they don’t want, so that they do not sabotage themselves because of negative thinking.

I have been into personal development since I was fifteen, so this concept of positive thinking and the law of attraction is not new to me. However it was the way that this book was written and the time I read it, that caused this massage to impact me more. This chapter was directly addressing the thinker, addressing me, the person whose mind usually overflows with so many wants and intensions, that I tend to think my way out of them before I begin. If you guys only knew how many ideas and how many drafts I have had for this blog, in comparison to the amount that I’ve actually posted. Some of you would say why didn't you post all of your finished drafts ? The answer is that I could not mentally bring myself to post a lot of them. There were all these reasons in my head like; they needed to be perfect, they weren't up to scratch or I didn’t like the idea anymore. All of these blocks and barriers that I have created in my mind have done nothing but hold me back. This what I need to overcome. I know that there are many over thinkers and perfectionists out there, just like me. If you are one of those people, I just want to say to you that I get it. But to progress you and I need focus on what we want and just try our best without thinking too much about it.

Nothing in the world is perfect, so don't let the fear of not being perfect, prevent you from putting your ideas out into the world.  

Thank you for reading my post and feel free to check out my other posts if you haven't all ready.

If you would like to contact me for free advice, to ask questions, comment on my blog or recommend a topic for me to explore in my next post feel free to leave me an email. at:

helloworldeb@yahoo.com

or just leave a comment down bellow

you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter

I look forward to hearing from you :)

If You Want To Be Happy Here Are 4 Things You Should Stop Doing in 2017.

Happy New Year :) If you have read any of my previous posts then you will probably realise that I haven’t posted for almost a year. I am happy with the decision I made to take time to myself, to accumulate more wisdom triggered by my experiences to share with you. I feel like my last post was great. It had a very helpful message which left me with nothing more to say for a while. I had to undergo my own journey of personal growth. I feel like I am ready to share more wisdom with you here on Helloworld:). Authentic wisdom, ideas that I am truly thinking and exploring in my day to day life as I write.

Today’s post will be about how you can truly be happier. If you have read it, I have a previous post called ‘How to be happier right now in 13 simple steps’. That was a step by step guide, 13 tips on things you could do in the moment. This post is going to focus more on tips to help you achieve happiness through your mind set. Remember when I said Step 12 was to ‘Overcome moods and challenges’. Then I expanded saying ‘Every time you continue to be happy, despite a misfortune you become an overall happier person. The way to do this is, to believe you can. You are in control of yourself and you can think outside of negative circumstances, situations and people.’ For this post I am going to expand on this point because this point is key. I have expanded in listing 4 things you should stop doing in order to be happy this year : 

1) Don't let anything ruin your life. In life challenges are unavoidable, they are a frequent occurrence. To guarantee your happiness you need to commit to it. You need to say to yourself, 'even if the worst happens I will find a way to pick myself up and be happy again'. Your happiness needs to be unconditional, reliant on nobody, not a far off destination that you hope to reach in the future. If you refuse to let any negative circumstance ruin your happiness for good, then nothing can keep you down. You may get down at times that is normal, but you should never stay down.

2) Don’t worry if what used to make you happy no longer makes you happy. In life we have evolving needs and wants it normal, so don’t freak out if you find yourself no longer satisfied by things that previously satisfied you. This could just be a sign that you need to make a change and try something new, for example take on new hobby or a new venture. Be adaptable to change, because that is to be well suited to a life where things are constantly changing. Remember the priceless advice, if you don’t like something change it, and if you can’t change it, then change your attitude towards it. The way you think about life is key so, look on the Brightside and learn to dance in the rain.


3) Don’t constantly ask yourself if you are happy. When you know something is true you don’t question it. Questions create doubt and questioning your own happiness can begin to cause you the unnecessary confusion that comes with over analysing your life. This is especially important when you are going through a hard time. For example a break up. This is when you need to not question your happiness because obviously you are emotional as you are in a transitioning period of your life. You are going through a temporary feeling of loss and uncertainty so waking up every morning thinking am I happy? Then proceeding to ask why does my life suck? Is not going to help you, my friend. It is better to just move towards feeling better every single day.   

4) Don’t assume that other people are happier than you because you honestly don’t know. I can relate this to many examples, but let me just take one. Single people assuming that people in relationships are happier than them. This is a common occurrence despite this evidently not being true, I mean look at the divorce rate! Yes for many the beginning of a relationship may be full of fun, excitement and happiness. But for that to continue for a lifetime? Well that really depends on the person. If you are single and unhappy, then being in a relationship will not make you happy in the long run, because nothing can make you happy. Happiness is an inside job.  

The only thing that can give you lasting happiness is choosing to be happy in the long term. Yes. This means waking up every morning and deciding to be happy. Going to bed every night still having decided to be happy. Deciding to have sweet dreams. Deciding to wake up and smile that you have received the gift of life, for yet another day. If you are not currently happy then choosing happiness, something you need to work on. Investing in your happiness is the most worthwhile investment you will ever make. Happiness is achievable for all and it all starts with the willingness to shift your mind set to create a happier life.

  

Thank you for reading my post and feel free to check out my other posts if you haven't all ready.

If you would like to contact me for free advice, to ask questions, comment on my blog or recommend a topic for me to explore in my next post feel free to leave me an email. at:

helloworldeb@yahoo.com

or just leave a comment down bellow

you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter

I look forward to hearing from you :)

Was that God? The Messenger : Joan Of Arc

When someone says they have received a message from God or Intuition from the Universe. How do you know that isn't just their conscience? Perhaps their existing thoughts cloud, or dilute any intuition that comes to them.

This post has a more serious tone. It’s not about disregarding religion because I am spiritual person myself and I have had my own fair share of religious experiences. But how come so many different people hear God saying so many different things? Whilst some people, never experience divine intervention or recall having any divine intuition.

I recently watched The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc which is and great film (A historical war movie based on her life). Afterwards I did my research and what scared me was that (in my opinion) whoever or whatever she was talking to was not God.

I believe God does not punish people for the pure sake of punishment. Whatever punishment you receive is a direct result of your actions. God does not tell people to kill each other (even if it is war time). But people do!

It seems there are 2 different main interpretations of God:

1) An all loving and forgiving God who wants us to change and grow so he does not intervene.

2) A God who critically judges us and wants us to be under his control, so we can carry out his will.

Again this idea always makes me think of the Lego Movie (A Must Watch!) because it is about Change vs. Tradition.  

I feel that if god meant to control us then he would have! Therefore I agree with the first interpretation of God. People talk about divine intervention and being inspired to change their lifestyles for the better and help others. So would the same god who invented forgiveness, decide that some people are just hopeless and tell “his people” to go and kill them?

There have been numerous people e.g. leaders, terrorists etc. who have claimed that they were told by God, to kill a certain group of people. It’s easy to just say 'well they probably made it up' or 'oh they are just crazy'. But simply labelling people as crazy is just an easy explanation. 

Is there just God?
 
If people can communicate with or receive intuition from God, angels, the divine, the universe etc... Then perhaps they can also communicate with other entities as well. Whom they could mistakenly label as god. Not every idea is a good idea and if there are energies outside of us, then perhaps there are energies that match every feeling, thought and belief we have, including the bad ones.

When someone goes into an angry rage. They are so filled with anger that they temporarily lose control of their actions. (Sometimes this is referred to as temporary insanity). They have lost control to something else. Their emotions have somehow attracted a power that exists both inside and outside of themselves that temporarily took over their actions.

That's what seemed to happen to Joan of Arc. During battle, she was convinced that she had not personally killed anyone. That is because her conscience couldn't handle it. She probably wasn't in full control of her actions whilst fighting for France. Her trauma and anger from seeing her be sister killed and violated by English solders caused her to do it. As a child she frequently asked for forgiveness multiple times a day. It seems her pre-existing ideas about a strict demanding God, combined with trauma and her tendency to see visions produced and altered these ‘visions of God’. Whether or not these visions existed outside of her, or just inside her head. They were still strong enough to make her demand to and successfully lead the French army with no prior military training at 17. Before she allowed herself to be burned at stake for wearing men’s clothing at the age of 19.  

Her idea that God wanted her to fight in battle clashed with her idea of killing people being a sin. Before her death she said that the voices (God and the Angels had turned on her). That she would rather die than live with these voices for the rest of her life. Yes these voices may have been real but from my experience God would never tell someone to go and do something that they secretly wanted to do, but their conscience couldn't handle (sin). Then turn on them afterwards!

We Interpret God

If everyone is 100 % sure about what God is then why would we need religions and holy books to teach us? The reason is because people want to check that whatever they feel, hear, or experience, is in line with what they expect from God. To me that surely means that any other concept we can think of also exist somewhere out there.

Our own thoughts, beliefs and strong emotions can sometimes prevent us from seeing what’s right and block divine intuition, if we are not mentally in a good place.   

This confirms that we really do create our own realities. Sometimes we just hear God saying what we expect him to say. We see what we expect to see! That doesn't mean that there isn't more out there, but remember, we as humans can only experience what we can interpret. If most of us cannot even understand what the birds are saying. How can we fully understand a God beyond our own existence?

I would advise people to clear away their existing beliefs when looking for answers. Focus on unconditional love, because that is what most of us need. Then pray, meditate, ask questions and pay attention to what ideas come though.

 

 

 

 

How to Love Yourself Unconditionally

Love yourself based on the pure fact that you are a human being.

Many people choose to take the approach of thinking about all of their great qualities and loving themselves for those qualities. While this seems like a great idea, I prefer to take a different approach. I say love yourself just for being a human being and don't try to define who you are. Reason being because we are constantly changing. Yes most of us do maintain an individualised essence throughout our lives, but we may not know exactly what that essence is. We may think that there's some aspect of our personalities that will never ever change. But if drastic changes occur in our lives e.g. moving to a foreign country, making new friends or going though tough times. A big change in your life style or your attitude could alter the aspects of your personality that you previously thought were 'unchangeable.' In life we are meant to change and grow therefore it is better that your sense of identity is not reliant on staying the same.  

 

 

If you love yourself based on a list of qualities that 'define YOU' then you are limiting yourself by clinging onto those qualities that you call you. If you can love yourself without defining yourself then you are giving yourself the confidence and the space to grow with out 'freaking out' at some point and saying 'who am I?' 'This is totally not me!'

There is no need to try and define you because YOU already are.

By deciding to no longer define yourself, you are letting go of  what you perceive as your bad qualities and your good qualities.
This means that you can stop using your flaws as excuses for what you can and can't do ! This will give you a chance to discover new likes and hobbies plus get rid of bad habits. A chance to reinvent yourself.  

It is like the ultimate form of freedom because your evolving wants and aspirations will no longer jeopardise your sense of self. You will be whoever you want to be, whenever you want to be. You can decide what 'you' want to do in your life without assuming that you have to specify based on either what you have or what you lack. You can make decisions based on the Most Loving Action For Yourself rather than what you 'think' you would want.

Every time you look in the mirror say to yourself " I love myself " don't waste time picking apart your physical appearance because it really doesn't matter. However feel free to groom yourself  which ever way you like. Remember how you look is only for you, because you are the only person who you should want to impress.  

 

 

Don't feel like you need to compete with anyone. You should only try to go beyond your own personal best. That's the only even playing field.

 

 

 

Treat yourself like a friend that you would like you get to know better, rather than an avatar that you have to strictly model and define. Who knows? You may even surprise yourself. :)

Truly Being Yourself And Feeling Your Emotions

Many of us hide our emotions. We hide away the parts of us that we think other people won’t like. You may feel strongly towards a certain situation or cause but you are afraid to express how you feel because other people may not understand you. Emotions get a bad rep as these feelings that need to be gotten rid of and hidden away. We think emotions are there to hold us back, when really fear is the only one that can and even fear serves its own purpose. Emotions aren’t the enemy they are a part of you and help to guide you through life. You should always consider your emotions with the upmost importance.




Your emotions always communicate something to you. Ignoring them is like ignoring a crying baby. This could make you feel worse.

Does this mean that you should go around pouring out your feelings to everyone you meet?

No. But you should avoid lying about or trying to hide who you are because in doing so you are devaluing yourself. You are basically saying that your true self isn’t good enough to share with others. If they don’t like you then that’s on them. There are so many different types of people in the world that only a select few people will be able to form a deep bond with you anyway. This is true for everyone, because of the amount of energy a deep bond takes. If you change yourself to suit the majority, it will only hurt you in the long run. Besides the feeling of true friendship is a wonderful feeling.

Of course you are going to change throughout your life, barely anyone has a personality that is 100 percent set in stone. This is brilliant because you need to be flexible in order to adapt to changes throughout your life. This is also another reason why your emotions should not be over looked is because at each moment in time your feelings are probably the most accurate and authentic reflection of who you are as a person !

 

'Oh' you must be thinking 'so even when I am feeling sad, and I’m down on myself then that is who I am as a person?'

Well my answer to that question is yes. Even at your lowest points that’s you and you should accept it. Everyone has those feelings and aspects of themselves that they feel are less favourable. But why should you tell yourself how to feel. You should love yourself regardless. You should justify how you are feeling, then seek peace and from there you shall find a solution. Don’t force yourself to feel the opposite of how you are feeling because when you do you are devaluing yourself because you are abandoning yourself.

 

How would you feel if you were very upset about something and sought your closest friend for advice or comfort and they told you to ‘just be happy’? They haven’t even tried to understand you !

Now imagine 'what are you doing when you say that to yourself ?' ‘Shut up and just be happy, act like everything’s fine'. You are ‘devaluing yourself’. Do you know what is more important than convincing yourself you are a happy person? Inner Peace. A mind at war with its self can never truly be happy. 

I could definitely relate to Unikitty (from The Lego Movie) she feels she has a reputation to uphold of always being happy. However the viewer knows this is impractical and when she finally lets go at the end of the movie you are like Wow she's awesome!  

  

I used to do this to myself all the time, it was something I learnt from a young age and got worse as I became older, claiming I was 'just being positive'. Many people do this. But by doing this you are not loving yourself unconditionally. You are loving yourself based on the condition that you are only feeling half the spectrum of emotions. When you try and force yourself out of feeling the lower half you are basically abandoning yourself.




(This is a page from the Power By Rhonda Byrne)

Many of us make the mistake of disregarding our negative emotions because we don't like the way they feel. However they are just as important, if not more important than the positive ones. 


You really should value your negative emotions because these are the emotions that:

1) Inspire change

2) Help you to understand, connect and empathise with others.

3) Are the reason that you know what happiness feels like. 

If everyone was perfectly happy just the way they were, no one would do anything. Life would have no meaning.

When I feel like I have been judged by someone I just tell myself ‘they don’t know me, they don’t know my story and they don’t know who I am’.

You can’t honestly say you would be any different, if you haven’t lived that person’s life. That’s it!

Love yourself and be you. That’s all you can do and all you are meant to do. :)

 

This is a song I feel perfectly relates to this Topic...

Fear of tomorrow by Aloha From Hell : http://youtu.be/D9CLA1KWpIs