Some people hold everything in and some people tell everybody. I would guess holding everything in, is the fast track to mental illness. To me there's a kind of shame associated with silence. (Thinking that the truth is too embarrassing to talk about.)
I don't even know if I should take it slow or just take my life in a direction. Any direction ! This is the part where I write about my confusion, while I try to make it sound, great, poetic, interesting. Writing here, because my diary is too heavy to carry. I am too tired to drag myself to Harrow. This is probably due to the fact that I am momentarily feeling this cosy feeling that I haven't felt in a long time. Where I'm not trying to do anything. Just feel peaceful, just being in the world.
Life can be made more complicated, when you feel like you always have to be moving. Always need to be on the run. You might just over do it sometimes. When truthfully there are so many things that can be done while sitting still. Books written, books read, conversations had. Don't be so busy on your feet that you run past everything beautiful in your life and in the world. Without giving it so much as a second glance. Sometimes the moment you've gone silent is the moment when you know exactly what to say.
People ask you questions, that they could answer better than you ever could. You do the same, when you ask questions. As hearing your truth come out of someone else's mouth, makes you feel approved of. It was their idea not yours. Even though you knew your own precise thoughts and wants before you blocked them out and decided you couldn't believe in yourself. Maybe fear took over or someone said something. But now someone says you can do it. What do you think about that ?
