Last time I wrote on this blog I promised you all that my next post would be on how to love yourself. I was surprised about how this question of how to phrase ‘how to love yourself’ has sent me on a personal journey of self-discovery. I believe as people we are always growing and we always should be. This is why I have decided to talk about my personal self-love journey because it would be a bit inauthentic to discuss self-love without discussing myself.
On the 10th of July, I officially completed my degree in Sociology, after a long struggle to get through the year and complete all of my work. This was due to other things that were going on during the year that frankly made me feel like my life was over. As I discussed before I have struggled with depression and anxiety and have also been dealing with other health issues. So finishing my work felt like a miracle as I submitted my dissertation and completed two 2500 word essays in the space of three days, which was insane for me because was in recovery from a surgery that took place the same week.
I am proud of myself but it’s not just me who made this happen, I couldn't have done it without the help of God and I was literally praying every day. I am so grateful for what I have been able to achieve over the past week. I'm telling you last week was the bravest, most challenging and most productive week of my life and I feel like I grew a lot. This was due to my belief in God and the law of attraction. If anyone reading this doesn't believe in God, it is okay you don't have to. I think the whole essence behind having and productive, beneficial and self-actualising mindset is to believe in good and believe in love. When I say love, I don't mean the romantic sense. I mean the force of love, the feeling of gratitude that is behind every good thing we have in our lives.
When it comes to loving myself, I've realised that it helps not to try and hide my faults. In previous posts, I've talked about shame and insecurity and the need to express yourself. But I never realised how imperative it was to declare your faults and put them right where you can see them. My health has forced me to do this because I believe there is an emotional cause behind every illness and trying to heal myself (with medical assistance also) has left me to assess my character and my flaws. One flaw that has had great influence over my life this year and previous years is Co-dependency. I will expand for those of you who are not familiar with this term.
Co-dependency defined by Wikipedia 'is a type of dysfunctional, helping relationship where one person supports of enables another person’s drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility or underachievement' (Wikipedia,n.d.)
Every relationship situation that I've ever been in can be summarized by this statement. But why? You must be thinking would I put myself in these situations. It’s because I love helping people and love to feel needed. Therefore, I tend to always attract and be attracted to people that I see as having flaws and people who I see as needing me. Why do I feel so needy? Well to put it frankly that core of it all is that I need to have my own life, my own fun, my own independence and not feel the need to hide behind being someone else's helper or unpaid therapist. I need to get my own kicks out of being me and expressing myself and doing the things that I enjoy so that I don't feel the need to handcuff myself to some random member of the opposite sex lol. I hope to improve this aspect of my life by enjoying daily alone time with myself, and practicing the law of attraction during these times so that I can continue to improve my mental health. To me, this means eliminating depression and hopelessness and creating a life full of love and happiness for myself.
Now that my degree is over I am presented with an opportunity, the opportunity to choose a new way of life that suits me. I realised that helping others is a passion of mine that should not go to waste. But this helping of others will from now onwards be kept to a professional level. Or kind gestures and expressions of gratitude and positivity towards the people that I encounter. Rather than entering into romantic situations with people who need help.
So that is the first step that I found in my Journey to loving myself is the need to identify your flaws be proud of yourself for doing so, as it brings you one step closer to improving your life by highlighting and working towards eliminating self-sabotage. I encourage you to take a few minutes to think about whether you have a flaw that could be holding you back in life. Perhaps write it down and then write a list of daily steps that you could take in order to manage or eliminate this flaw.
I have realised upon writing this post that it would make sense to make this into a series because there is so much to write about and there are so many changes that will go on in my life. Therefore there will be more posts to come on My Self Love Journey.
I would like to thank you all, my readers for continuing to read my posts, especially because I post so inconsistently. I am now finished with uni, therefore, I will be able to dedicate more energy to writing quality posts that I hope you will find helpful. Thank you guys so much for still being here.
Thank you for reading my post and feel free to check out my other posts if you haven't already.
If you would like to contact me for free advice, to ask questions, comment on my blog or recommend a topic for me to explore in my next post feel free to leave me an email at :
helloworldeb@yahoo.com
or just leave a comment down below
I look forward to hearing from you :)
Bibliography
Wikipedia. (n.d.) Codependency. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency [29.07.17].
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