My Self Love Journey: Part 1: The Beginning

Last time I wrote on this blog I promised you all that my next post would be on how to love yourself. I was surprised about how this question of how to phrase ‘how to love yourself’ has sent me on a personal journey of self-discovery. I believe as people we are always growing and we always should be. This is why I have decided to talk about my personal self-love journey because it would be a bit inauthentic to discuss self-love without discussing myself.

On the 10^th of July, I officially completed my degree in Sociology, after a long struggle to get through the year and complete all of my work. This was due to other things that were going on during the year that frankly made me feel like my life was over. As I discussed before I have struggled with depression and anxiety and have also been dealing with other health issues. So finishing my work felt like a miracle as I submitted my dissertation and completed two 2500 word essays in the space of three days, which was insane for me because was in recovery from a surgery that took place the same week.

I am proud of myself but it’s not just me who made this happen, I couldn't have done it without the help of God and I was literally praying every day. I am so grateful for what I have been able to achieve over the past week. I'm telling you last week was the bravest, most challenging and most productive week of my life and I feel like I grew a lot. This was due to my belief in God and the law of attraction. If anyone reading this doesn't believe in God, it is okay you don't have to. I think the whole essence behind having and productive, beneficial and self-actualising mindset is to believe in good and believe in love. When I say love, I don't mean the romantic sense. I mean the force of love, the feeling of gratitude that is behind every good thing we have in our lives.

When it comes to loving myself, I've realised that it helps not to try and hide my faults. In previous posts, I've talked about shame and insecurity and the need to express yourself. But I never realised how imperative it was to declare your faults and put them right where you can see them. My health has forced me to do this because I believe there is an emotional cause behind every illness and trying to heal myself (with medical assistance also) has left me to assess my character and my flaws. One flaw that has had great influence over my life this year and previous years is Co-dependency. I will expand for those of you who are not familiar with this term.

Co-dependency defined by Wikipedia 'is a type of dysfunctional, helping relationship where one person supports of enables another person’s drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility or underachievement' (Wikipedia,n.d.)     

Every relationship situation that I've ever been in can be summarized by this statement. But why? You must be thinking would I put myself in these situations. It’s because I love helping people and love to feel needed. Therefore, I tend to always attract and be attracted to people that I see as having flaws and people who I see as needing me. Why do I feel so needy? Well to put it frankly that core of it all is that I need to have my own life, my own fun, my own independence and not feel the need to hide behind being someone else's helper or unpaid therapist. I need to get my own kicks out of being me and expressing myself and doing the things that I enjoy so that I don't feel the need to handcuff myself to some random member of the opposite sex lol. I hope to improve this aspect of my life by enjoying daily alone time with myself, and practicing the law of attraction during these times so that I can continue to improve my mental health. To me, this means eliminating depression and hopelessness and creating a life full of love and happiness for myself.  

Now that my degree is over I am presented with an opportunity, the opportunity to choose a new way of life that suits me. I realised that helping others is a passion of mine that should not go to waste. But this helping of others will from now onwards be kept to a professional level. Or kind gestures and expressions of gratitude and positivity towards the people that I encounter. Rather than entering into romantic situations with people who need help.

So that is the first step that I found in my Journey to loving myself is the need to identify your flaws be proud of yourself for doing so, as it brings you one step closer to improving your life by highlighting and working towards eliminating self-sabotage. I encourage you to take a few minutes to think about whether you have a flaw that could be holding you back in life. Perhaps write it down and then write a list of daily steps that you could take in order to manage or eliminate this flaw.   

I have realised upon writing this post that it would make sense to make this into a series because there is so much to write about and there are so many changes that will go on in my life. Therefore there will be more posts to come on My Self Love Journey.

I would like to thank you all, my readers for continuing to read my posts, especially because I post so inconsistently. I am now finished with uni, therefore, I will be able to dedicate more energy to writing quality posts that I hope you will find helpful. Thank you guys so much for still being here.  

   

         Thank you for reading my post and feel free to check out my other posts if you haven't already.

If you would like to contact me for free advice, to ask questions, comment on my blog or recommend a topic for me to explore in my next post feel free to leave me an email at :

helloworldeb@yahoo.com

or just leave a comment down below

you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter

I look forward to hearing from you :)

Bibliography 

Wikipedia. (n.d.) Codependency. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency [29.07.17].

5 ways to brighten your day: My Experience

This is my experience applying the 5 ways to brighten your day, that I wrote about in my last post. In this recording, I explain the exact steps I took to brighten my day and I also give useful advice regarding the law of attraction and getting in touch with your inner child. Along with the value of having alone time. I hope you enjoy my positive and inspiring 29-minute ramble. I'm sure it will put you in a good mood.

5 ways to brighten your day

This is a follow up from my last post in which I spoke about having depression and anxiety. I apologise if the sound quality made it hard to make out what I was saying, as I recorded it upon waking without the intention to post it online. However, I proceed to post it because it was authentic and unedited therefore proved true to the point I was trying to display in my post. This post will be 5 ways to brighten your day, containing tips that I would like to incorporate into my days to make them brighter, things that I think you could find helpful too.

1) Spend time outdoors, this is one thing that lifted my mood today when my little cousins asked if I could take them to the park, so I did take them and it was only an hr but it was so refreshing to be outside in nature and to breathe in the fresh air.

2) Listen to happy music, it's easy to want to listen to sad music when you aren't feeling the best, after all, it may feel more relatable to your mood. However, in the long run doing this with only keep you in a negative mindset. Yesterday when my dissertation was becoming a drag I listened to Girls Generation (the South Korean girl band). Even though I do not speak Korean the sound of the music is very catchy happy pop music and its hard not to smile while listening to it.

3) Find a way to laugh, with the help of comedy films and youtube this shouldn't be hard there are so many funny things, and people in the world who can make you laugh. Once you are laughing you will find it easier to smile again.

4) Avoid negativity, this one sounds hard especially if you are going through a hard time you will probably be thinking how can you ignore something that is currently surrounding yourself. Well try and ignore negativity as much as you can, don't listen to bad news, don't read sad stories, don't watch tragic movies. I made the mistake of indulging in this and it only made me feel worse about life in the long run.      

5) Last but not least love yourself, if you are struggling with this read my post called 'How to love yourself unconditionally'. so many people struggle with this, including me, however loving yourself is something that will benefit us greatly because when you do you will feel more positive about yourself and therefore life. You will be more driven to find solutions to problems you have in life because you see yourself as valuable enough to have a good life. In my next posts, I will be sharing practical steps that you can take to increase the love you have for yourself.

By the way, if anyone wants to know why I've stopped using as many pictures on my posts it's because I have realised that I can get sued for using photos of google, I plan to create my own photos in future and take down to old ones eventually. I am quite busy now as I am graduating soon but my aim in the future is to create more photos like the one at the top of this post.

   
         Thank you for reading my post and feel free to check out my other posts if you haven't already.

If you would like to contact me for free advice, to ask questions, comment on my blog or recommend a topic for me to explore in my next post feel free to leave me an email. at:

helloworldeb@yahoo.com

or just leave a comment down bellow

you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter

I look forward to hearing from you :)

My Most Authentic Post

I feel like my posts have been lacking authenticity lately because they can be quite impersonal. I have been going through a hard time lately and I assumed that meant I should not post because my blog is about positivity and happiness. I have experienced a lot of depression and anxiety which I have been afraid to write about because I thought it would contradict my blog theme. This lead to me not feeling good enough to post on my own blog, which is crazy now I think about it. However like I mentioned in my earlier post 'truly being yourself and feeling your emotions', you can not ignore the other side of the emotional spectrum. This is why in this audio which I recorded today I am truly expressing my feelings and emotions at this time. This audio is entirely random and unedited, so use headphones, and listen on full volume as I was talking very quietly. I hope you enjoy the fact that this is more personal than what I usually post. I hope other people also going through a hard time or experiencing depression and anxiety also can feel that they are not alone, due to me sharing my thoughts.  

How to be prepared for when you feel down

Recently I have done a lot of positive things and been to a lot of positive events. I have met a number of kind positive people. A constant worry among kind positive people like myself, is what to do when they feel sad. They want to know how they can prevent sadness and prevent themselves from losing that buzz. This is especially true if you believe in the law of attraction. I am here to tell you that you can not, you can only prepare for sadness.

Take this example, when you are packing for a holiday or a trip it is good to pack some sort of First Aid Kit, even if it is just some plasters (or band aids, if you live in the US) just in case you get injured. I think we should do the same with our emotions and have a plan, or a few action steps to  take, if we get hurt emotionally. Rather than expecting to be happy all day everyday and hoping that nothing will ever get in the way of that. This is because life is full of ups and downs, regardless of how positive we are. These things all teach us life lessons, but dealing with sadness in the moment can be challenging. You are allowed to be sad sometimes and you should prepare what actions you will take to help bring yourself back up when you do feel unhappy.

I have recently become a listener at 7 cups of tea, because I love to help people when they are feeling down. 7 cups is website and app that provides free online counselling. I recommend heading there next time you feel sad and need to be listened to. You don’t even have to make an account, to find a kind trained active listener like myself, who is willing to listen to your problems and provide basic free online counselling.

7 cups of tea= https://www.7cups.com

My 7cups  listener profile = https://www.7cups.com/@Helloworldeb95

Thank you for reading my post and feel free to check out my other posts if you haven't all ready.

If you would like to contact me for free advice, to ask questions, comment on my blog or recommend a topic for me to explore in my next post feel free to leave me an email. at:

helloworldeb@yahoo.com

or just leave a comment down bellow

you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter

I look forward to hearing from you :)

Dear Overthinkers and Perfectionists

Yesterday I read a few chapters of a book that I found in my local library called 'Love Birds: How to live with the one you love By Trevor Silvester'. In this book the author had categorised people into different types of birds, which were metaphors for different personality types. I didn't take the personality test at the beginning of the book, I just skipped straight to the chapter that I could relate to and that was the owl, the thinker. The key thing I remember, that stood out to me in this chapter was the personality description that came along with it. I was drawn to this chapter as a way of purely understanding myself, rather than seeking relationship advice. This description basically stated that the thinker is someone who lives inside their mind they are completely carried away inside their own thoughts they are constantly communicating with themselves. Then it went onto say that what goes on in this persons mind, affects their life very greatly. This got me thinking about how we are a product of our thoughts and about the extent to which they shape our lives. The part that also stood out to me within this chapter is the fact that it said this voice in the individuals mind can either be their best friend or their worst nightmare. So the most important thing for the thinker is to always focus their mind on what they want rather than what they don’t want, so that they do not sabotage themselves because of negative thinking.

I have been into personal development since I was fifteen, so this concept of positive thinking and the law of attraction is not new to me. However it was the way that this book was written and the time I read it, that caused this massage to impact me more. This chapter was directly addressing the thinker, addressing me, the person whose mind usually overflows with so many wants and intensions, that I tend to think my way out of them before I begin. If you guys only knew how many ideas and how many drafts I have had for this blog, in comparison to the amount that I’ve actually posted. Some of you would say why didn't you post all of your finished drafts ? The answer is that I could not mentally bring myself to post a lot of them. There were all these reasons in my head like; they needed to be perfect, they weren't up to scratch or I didn’t like the idea anymore. All of these blocks and barriers that I have created in my mind have done nothing but hold me back. This what I need to overcome. I know that there are many over thinkers and perfectionists out there, just like me. If you are one of those people, I just want to say to you that I get it. But to progress you and I need focus on what we want and just try our best without thinking too much about it.

Nothing in the world is perfect, so don't let the fear of not being perfect, prevent you from putting your ideas out into the world.  

Thank you for reading my post and feel free to check out my other posts if you haven't all ready.

If you would like to contact me for free advice, to ask questions, comment on my blog or recommend a topic for me to explore in my next post feel free to leave me an email. at:

helloworldeb@yahoo.com

or just leave a comment down bellow

you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter

I look forward to hearing from you :)

If You Want To Be Happy Here Are 4 Things You Should Stop Doing in 2017.

Happy New Year :) If you have read any of my previous posts then you will probably realise that I haven’t posted for almost a year. I am happy with the decision I made to take time to myself, to accumulate more wisdom triggered by my experiences to share with you. I feel like my last post was great. It had a very helpful message which left me with nothing more to say for a while. I had to undergo my own journey of personal growth. I feel like I am ready to share more wisdom with you here on Helloworld:). Authentic wisdom, ideas that I am truly thinking and exploring in my day to day life as I write.

Today’s post will be about how you can truly be happier. If you have read it, I have a previous post called ‘How to be happier right now in 13 simple steps’. That was a step by step guide, 13 tips on things you could do in the moment. This post is going to focus more on tips to help you achieve happiness through your mind set. Remember when I said Step 12 was to ‘Overcome moods and challenges’. Then I expanded saying ‘Every time you continue to be happy, despite a misfortune you become an overall happier person. The way to do this is, to believe you can. You are in control of yourself and you can think outside of negative circumstances, situations and people.’ For this post I am going to expand on this point because this point is key. I have expanded in listing 4 things you should stop doing in order to be happy this year : 

1) Don't let anything ruin your life. In life challenges are unavoidable, they are a frequent occurrence. To guarantee your happiness you need to commit to it. You need to say to yourself, 'even if the worst happens I will find a way to pick myself up and be happy again'. Your happiness needs to be unconditional, reliant on nobody, not a far off destination that you hope to reach in the future. If you refuse to let any negative circumstance ruin your happiness for good, then nothing can keep you down. You may get down at times that is normal, but you should never stay down.

2) Don’t worry if what used to make you happy no longer makes you happy. In life we have evolving needs and wants it normal, so don’t freak out if you find yourself no longer satisfied by things that previously satisfied you. This could just be a sign that you need to make a change and try something new, for example take on new hobby or a new venture. Be adaptable to change, because that is to be well suited to a life where things are constantly changing. Remember the priceless advice, if you don’t like something change it, and if you can’t change it, then change your attitude towards it. The way you think about life is key so, look on the Brightside and learn to dance in the rain.


3) Don’t constantly ask yourself if you are happy. When you know something is true you don’t question it. Questions create doubt and questioning your own happiness can begin to cause you the unnecessary confusion that comes with over analysing your life. This is especially important when you are going through a hard time. For example a break up. This is when you need to not question your happiness because obviously you are emotional as you are in a transitioning period of your life. You are going through a temporary feeling of loss and uncertainty so waking up every morning thinking am I happy? Then proceeding to ask why does my life suck? Is not going to help you, my friend. It is better to just move towards feeling better every single day.   

4) Don’t assume that other people are happier than you because you honestly don’t know. I can relate this to many examples, but let me just take one. Single people assuming that people in relationships are happier than them. This is a common occurrence despite this evidently not being true, I mean look at the divorce rate! Yes for many the beginning of a relationship may be full of fun, excitement and happiness. But for that to continue for a lifetime? Well that really depends on the person. If you are single and unhappy, then being in a relationship will not make you happy in the long run, because nothing can make you happy. Happiness is an inside job.  

The only thing that can give you lasting happiness is choosing to be happy in the long term. Yes. This means waking up every morning and deciding to be happy. Going to bed every night still having decided to be happy. Deciding to have sweet dreams. Deciding to wake up and smile that you have received the gift of life, for yet another day. If you are not currently happy then choosing happiness, something you need to work on. Investing in your happiness is the most worthwhile investment you will ever make. Happiness is achievable for all and it all starts with the willingness to shift your mind set to create a happier life.

  

Thank you for reading my post and feel free to check out my other posts if you haven't all ready.

If you would like to contact me for free advice, to ask questions, comment on my blog or recommend a topic for me to explore in my next post feel free to leave me an email. at:

helloworldeb@yahoo.com

or just leave a comment down bellow

you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter

I look forward to hearing from you :)